


A Child, Reclaimed

by Sombre



Category: Aldnoah.Zero (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Gen, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-27
Updated: 2015-08-27
Packaged: 2018-04-17 14:16:49
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4669733
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sombre/pseuds/Sombre
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>“Pain is something we all have to deal with, and when we can’t reach past our pain to help each other—that’s when we really lose.” </i>
  <br/>
  <i>And he really had, once he pulled that trigger. Slaine wished he'd understood that before.</i>
</p><p>In which Slaine's surrender affords him a different stroke of misery saving. Written for the AZ Fanbook.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Child, Reclaimed

There is a knock at the door.

“Troyard-san, are you awake?” 

Slaine looks up from the pendant in his hands. He’s been turning it over for the last hour, wondering what kind of sick humor his father had in mind when he called it a good luck charm. His gaze wanders back to it as the door opens.

Yuki Kaizuka smiles at him with a tray of steaming food. If she is surprised at his silence, she doesn’t show it. Slaine counts the seconds it takes her to place the tray on the floor and leave.

She doesn’t.

The door closes behind her.

Slaine winces, flips the necklace over again in his hands, the metal warm in his prolonged embrace. “I don’t have anything to say to you.”

She hums to herself, instead setting the tray of food on the table. “I wonder about that.”

“Please—” He feels his emotions rise in his throat like vomit, the carefully crafted yet volatile level-headedness threatened by just her presence. “…leave.”

It’s when she kneels in front of him, gently resting her hands over his, that he notices how much he’s shaking, how tightly he’s clenching the necklace. He gasps suddenly and stares at her, feeling himself begin to unravel, swallowing as if to keep it all down.

“Nao-kun is a nice person, deep down,” she averts her gaze, “but he isn’t the best at expressing himself to people.” She offers Slaine an apologetic smile. “He doesn’t hate you.”

It’s enough to make him laugh, darkly, bitterly. “Is that so?”

“Troyard-san…”

He can’t stop himself now, even as revulsion and shame bubble up to the surface. Tears fall as fast as his thoughts race, and when Yuki Kaizuka squeezes his hands, her concern just makes it worse.

“It would be better if he did. If all of you did. If…If Asseylum did. It would just be…so much easier.”

He laughs again. The sound tastes awful in his mouth.

“I never wanted any of this to happen. I—I just…I just wanted…”

 _To protect her_ , he wants to say, but he can’t get the words out. Everything is collapsing into that little pendant of his, like’s he’s drowning in an ocean again. Drowning fast.

Yuki sits beside him, on the bed, never letting go of his hands as Slaine breaks.

His heart pounds as he cries, a muffled hum into her shoulder, a bundle of sniffles and tears and hiccups. He can only feel, and he’s sick of it.

Slaine doesn’t know how long he is like this before he reduces himself to only shaky breaths, before he realized he’s being hugged. He tries and fails to pull away.

“Why do you care so much?” he manages in a scratchy half-whisper. “I nearly killed him. I was _trying_ to kill him. And I don’t even remember why.”

“Because hate is never easier to live with, out of all the options we have. And despite what my brother thinks, it takes more than logic to end a war.”

Slaine blinks; his breathing steadies just a little. Yuki draws back, and he stares at her in the dim light, searching her eyes for meaning. He is being pitied. He is being forgiven. And he can’t tell which is worse. Or which one he wants more.

“Asseylum-hime never told us much about you. She seemed scared to. But after living with Nao-kun all this time, I think I can tell a truly good person when I see one.” She smiles, a little bit of the genuine kindness that’s been so elusive to him shining through. “I’ll never really be able to imagine what it was like growing up as a Terran over there. I also can’t say all the destruction you’ve caused for the sake of keeping Asseylum safe was right, or that I’ve completely forgiven you. But…” she looks away briefly. “Pain is something we all have to deal with, and when we can’t reach past our pain to help each other—that’s when we really lose.”

She sighs and stands from the bed. He stares down at the necklace, only the chain managing to remain in his grasp.

“I’m sorry,” he says.

The words feel hollow and automatic, but he means them all the same. They don’t even begin to atone for what he’s done. But Yuki smiles at him in a way that makes him believe it’s a start.

“Just be sure to eat your food this time. You may not think so, but a week of barely eating will leave people worried about you. Even Nao-kun, in his own way.”

_Terran or Martian, you’re only an enemy if you attack us. Currently, you have surrendered on multiple accounts. Remaining cooperative, therefore, is in your best interests._

Or so Inaho Kaizuka said when Slaine was transferred from his cell. Because that definitely said care and concern. But Slaine knows it could have been worse. In every way things could have gone, it should have been a lot worse. Instead, there was a warm meal waiting for him in a corner of his own room, a woman’s far reaching and undeserved kindness, and the ultimate erasure of the stress of having to lead, and compromise his morals doing it.

He picks up the tray and sits it in his lap. It’s soup—perhaps because military rations were always lacking in quality, or maybe because he hadn’t eaten in days and would need something light. But it’s warm, the steam on his cheek, the smell of chicken and broth familiar to him even after so many years.

He drops the necklace on the bed, hand trembling as he reaches for the spoon.

“Thank you, Yuki.”

She smiles wistfully, turning to leave.

“Welcome back.”


End file.
